Prophet Ibrahim (AS) Had A Teenager Too!

Asalaamu Alaykum,

Welcome to the Dadhood newsletter, your companion on this journey of fatherhood as a Muslim dad.

Here’s what you’ll find:

• ✏️ How Ibrahim (AS) dealt with a teenage son

• ⏳ Why asking for help is not weakness

• 🎙️ Fathers are held back by their ego

• 😂 Goku Super Saiyan 100

As mentioned in the previous email, let's continue exploring this verse to extract lessons for modern-day fatherhood.

In the highlighted portion, Ibrahim (AS) is fully aware of his son's development and maturity, understanding that Ismail (AS) has reached the age of accountability for his actions. Therefore, Ibrahim (AS) chooses to have a mature conversation with Ismail (AS) and consults him on the matter at hand, rather than simply commanding him to go along with his plan. While it wouldn't be wrong for Ibrahim (AS) to make the decision as a father, he realizes that giving Ismail (AS) a chance to share his opinion will build trust between them as father and son.

Take a moment to ask yourself: When was the last time you consulted your teenage children about a plan you wanted to execute for the family? Whether it's considering a house move, introducing a new house rule, or creating a new budget for household expenses, involving your teenagers in these conversations can nurture a sense of responsibility within them—a key aspect of their relationship with Allah.

As Allah will hold them accountable for their actions at this age, we, as fathers, need to nurture their sense of responsibility for those actions. This nurturing should be holistic and not limited to "Islamic" development.

It's as simple as this - ASK FOR HELP!

For some reason, asking for help is like kryptonite for dads. We won't ask for directions, we won't read instructions, but we'll be offended if our wife doesn't ask for our help to open jam jars.

Now, there is virtue in not always seeking help from others. It can push you to be more diligent and disciplined in the task at hand, and it can bring you closer to Allah as you start to realise your own limits and rely upon Him. However, denying a helping hand isn't always virtuous and can often hinder your productivity as a father.

Take a moment to ask yourself, "Why do I avoid asking for help?" You are likely to conclude one or more of the following:

• I have too much pride to let someone help me, and it makes me feel weak.

• I am afraid they will not be able to help me.

• I will feel like too much of a burden.

• I am not worthy enough of other people's time and effort.

When these realities are spelled out in front of you, you begin to understand that not asking for help isn't just a trivial 'dad thing,' but it's a problem that lies much deeper within our psyche, fueled by past experiences. It actually creates a barrier to our cognition and forces us to act irrationally in situations when we could actually use all the help we can get. When this happens repeatedly, it is inevitable that the women and children who rely upon us to be their providers and protectors start to lose respect for us.

Seeking help usually enables you to work much faster, and the results of the task are usually of higher quality. This is because either the person we turn to for help has experience in the task required, meaning they know how to get from A to B without making all the mistakes, or they may not have the experience, but put simply, two brains are better than one. By not asking for help, you are slowing yourself down, letting down the people you should be serving, and ultimately producing sub-par results.

One simple step forward would be to recognise that when you are asked for help, you usually jump at the opportunity to serve a person in need. Don’t you think others would do the same for you?

The productive dad tip was actually inspired by this highlight from the latest episode of the Dadhood podcast. By clicking the video above it will open up on the exact part I have described below.

My guest Zakariya speaks about how he relies upon the support network around him to stay on top of all his responsibilities and that its usually his own ego that holds him back from asking for help even though he knows he really needs it.

Sometimes I think to myself, “how are we the next generation of dads?” 😂😂😂

That’s all for this installment of the Dadhood newsletter. You can get back to planning out your meals… oh you don’t meal plan? This is your sign to get on it dad! As they say, health is wealth.

I am new to this whole newsletter thing so please hit reply and give me your feedback so I can serve you better.

Jazakum Allahu Khayr for reading!